Do you know your Zone of Genius?

There is a fine line between empowering people and enabling them. This falls under boundaries. So often, the very things we do to help our friends, our children, and family members aren’t actually helping them. Instead, we’re setting them up to be weak instead of assisting them to find their own strength. Think of how many times you step in to do something for someone thinking you are helping when in reality they could be empowered by letting them tap into their own creativity, resilience, and power. Every time we swoop in to try to fix something for them and we don’t let them see what they are capable of themselves, we unknowingly steal their power and their confidence.

Having boundaries is not a selfish thing, it’s a selfless thing.I can’t recall one speech, workshop, or coaching session in which there has not been overwhelming agreement among the participants that setting and sticking with boundaries is a problem. Most times when I bring up the topic, people roll their eyes, raise their hands, and nod up and down knowingly because they know boundary setting is a challenge for them.And this struggle isn’t limited to a specific age and income group either. I am talking about all ages of people from a wide variety of backgrounds, levels of success and education. From the young adults we are working with to the highest paid professionals I coach, they all ask for help and guidance in this area.

I am sure you feel the same way I do that this year seems to have flown by faster than most.This time last year, I was helping my daughter with a newborn and as she adjusted to being a mom. It is surreal to see your baby have a baby and think it was not too long ago when I was holding her for the first time.And even though I am certainly old enough to be a grandma, it has taken me the better part of this whole year, doing my best to be a part of their lives as much as possible, to really feel like Pryce is my grandson.I know many women who are grandmas. They kept telling me that there is nothing like it in the world. And boy were they right about that!

This is a very important month for me.Not only do I get to celebrate my grandson’s first birthday, but mine is just 5 days later. What a gift to share our birthday months! I know that was divinely orchestrated by our loved ones in Heaven and I am so grateful for that.I can’t believe how fast this past year has gone by and how fast Pryce is growing. He has a LOT of personality and is a complete joy to be around. He cracks me up and I can’t wait until he can talk to hear what comes out of his mouth! I am loving being able to spend so much time with him. May has always been a month of reflection for me. And now that it’s also Pryce’s birthday month, I find myself reflecting even more than I normally do at this time.

Imagine you’re standing on a stage looking out at the rows and rows of people in front of you. In your life, the people who are closest to you are in what I call your front row.I’ve taught hundreds of people what I call the front row exercise.It’s about making sure that the only people who are in the “front row” of your life – meaning those you spend the most amount of time with – are people whose advice you welcome, you know they believe in you and encourage you, and they're maybe even a little bit further along in their personal and professional journey than where you're are at this time.These are the people who you can rank as your 9s and 10s out of 10. They are the people you just love being around because they lift you up as they rise.

I recently found and dusted off a book that I’ve had forever by Wayne Dyer, one of my all-time favorites. It’s called Wisdom of the Ages: 60 Days to Enlightenment.While this book covers a bunch of different topics, the one that called to me is on Leadership.

Do you have a vision for your family?I wish that as my kids were going up that I would have talked about this more.Sure, they knew my vision. I asked them their goals and my husband Ross and I encouraged them to follow their dreams.But I don't think that we spent nearly enough time talking about how we see our family, what our core values are, what we stand for, or how we stand for each other, especially as we get older.There is a lot to be said for having a vision for your family, that both the kids and adults understand.

It’s time for some spring cleaning (and I don’t mean your closets)! Let’s work on clearing the obstacles in your path.If you already have the ‘spring cleaning’ bug and you’ve begun purging rooms, garages, and basements of all the things that are cluttering their space, that’s great. I, too, have a pile of clothes ready to donate and I can’t wait to drop them off.Clearing out spaces feels so good, doesn’t it? We feel freer and inspired to renew and refresh our surroundings.

At a conference years ago, one of my mentors said something that hit me right in the heart (in a good way).Not only have I never forgotten it, I’ve also taught it to all the people who have heard me speak:One of the foundational characteristics of a great leader is learning how to manage emotions.I’d had to learn it for myself – after making some terrible mistakes with my choices in reactions – but mostly I recognized the importance of this statement because it had been exemplified very subtly by the people I revere.

Have you heard of the Law of the Lid? The brainchild of John Maxwell, an author and leadership expert, goes like this:https://www.johnmaxwell.com/blog/the-law-of-the-lid/Leadership ability is the lid that determines a person’s level of effectiveness. The lower an individual’s ability to lead, the lower the lid on his potential. The higher the individual’s ability to lead, the higher the lid on his potential.Many years ago, when I heard him speak at a conference, I immediately started reading, and using his books for personal growth and trainings. In his book, ‘The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership’ he discusses the Law of the Lid and this truth, when I first read it, made so much sense to me that I applied it to my own life and have repeated it many times to my clients.

The bond between mothers and daughters is unbreakable.To mark women’s history month, I want to honor a very special woman in my life: my daughter Laurel.I have been blessed to have so many women who have loved me, raised me, mentored me, and poured into me as I have grown both personally and professionally. They have seen my greatness, seen me at my worst but still believed in me when I did not believe in myself, and have been my life force when I was ready to quit. These women have shared my tears and shared their wisdom to make me feel that I could keep going no matter what.

What have you done for yourself today? Here are 10 Tips to living your ideal life, reach your goals, and have joy today and every day.

I have made no secret of the fact that I start my day with at least an hour of quiet time to read, pray, journal, and set my intentions for the day. Without that time, my whole day feels totally different because I have not connected first to my Guide. I started this practice when my kids were young. It wasn’t necessarily because I chose it – it was because I was being guided by Love. I had been called into a leadership position in a bible study group in which there was daily homework.God knew that I took serving seriously and that one of my biggest character traits is loyalty. To create this new habit of centering myself, I was being guided by Love.

This month is considered the month of love, but actually isn’t every month, every week, and day supposed to be about love?It’s really all there is. We are called to Love.Love each other. Love our families. Love our neighbors. Even love our enemies… (which there really aren’t any when you learn about love).

Are you moved emotionally by music?Music has been a huge source of joy and pain in my life. I am always moved by it.There was a time when I couldn’t turn on the radio or Pandora because of the wave of emotions that would run through me.I’ve loved music my entire life. My childhood dream was to be a singer, so unfortunately for my family they heard me sing A LOT in my bedroom.I won’t tell you who I was singing to on records because it would totally date me (and you may not have even heard of the artists!)All of those songs, and the ones that were popular while I was dating my husband, during our early years as a married couple, and the popular songs while we were raising our children have put time markers in my heart.

How are you doing with the goals you set for 2021? Statistically speaking, less than 8% of the population actually hits the goals they set at the beginning of the year. That's why today I'm going to share with you THREE SECRETS to help you stay on track and be a part of the 8% who will crush your goals this year.

Why do you still need a vision when so much of what happens in our lives is outside of our control?Every year, I celebrate January as Vision month. But this year, the excitement that I usually see online – people energized about reaching their dreams and visions and goals – has been few and far between. I think it's because what we've been through in 2020 might have been the first major upset in their lives. Any time we have something sideswipe us, something that we didn't see coming, it rocks our confidence. And when our confidence is rocked, we start doubting. When we start doubting, we start believing all the lies and all the misperceptions.This year, people are perceiving that most things are outside of their control.

I had an ah-ha moment the other day.As I was scrolling Facebook waiting for my plane to take off, I realized that I haven't seen as many people post about their 2021 goals, the way I normally do this time of year.As a vision coach, I talk a lot about goals, dreams, and setting vision. So I expect to see my social media feed brimming with people sharing how excited they are to crush their goals, to check those resolutions off their list, every January.But this year, I haven't seen too much of that.

If you haven't already set your vision for the year, now is the time to start thinking about it.You know I've been talking about this since before Thanksgiving because I think that the end of the year is always the best time to really think about your vision.But the reality is that most of us don't because we get too busy with wrapping up the year and all the things that start to happen around the holidays.Now that all New Year’s festivities have passed, people are starting to think about vision, goals, and resolutions, and sticking to them.