Empowering vs. Enabling


There is a fine line between empowering people and enabling them. This falls under boundaries. So often, the very things we do to help our friends, our children, and family members aren’t actually helping them. Instead, we’re setting them up to be weak instead of assisting them to find their own strength. Think of how many times you step in to do something for someone thinking you are helping when in reality they could be empowered by letting them tap into their own creativity, resilience, and power. Every time we swoop in to try to fix something for them and we don’t let them see what they are capable of themselves, we unknowingly steal their power and their confidence.


When we do something for someone else who is fully capable of doing it themselves (including young children!) we chip away at their self-worth and their independence and ultimately at finding out who they are truly meant to become.Without knowing it, we end up sending the message that we really don’t believe that they are strong, capable human beings.Let that sink in a moment. Instead of empowering them, you’re doing the exact opposite. You are sowing seeds of doubt – doubting who they are and that they can make their own choices and feel confident.Having confidence in themselves is everything in this world.

Our Own Needs

Now it’s important to note that we don’t mean any harm. The only reason we do this is that we are trying to fill a need in ourselves to feel worthy and helpful.But these actions are not really about helping the other person. We do this for our own self-worth. Think about that for a moment, too.So, I ask you to consider this: before you get ready to do something for someone else, ask yourself ifwhat you are about to do (or not do) will empower them to become their best self?Most of us cross the line between empowering and enabling almost every day. Now that you’re armed with this distinction, you’ll be able to do more empowerment even though it can be tough on both of you. Remember though, the end result is amazing!

Vision is victory,

Carey's Signature