This is a very important month for me.Not only do I get to celebrate my grandson’s first birthday, but mine is just 5 days later. What a gift to share our birthday months! I know that was divinely orchestrated by our loved ones in Heaven and I am so grateful for that.I can’t believe how fast this past year has gone by and how fast Pryce is growing. He has a LOT of personality and is a complete joy to be around. He cracks me up and I can’t wait until he can talk to hear what comes out of his mouth! I am loving being able to spend so much time with him. May has always been a month of reflection for me. And now that it’s also Pryce’s birthday month, I find myself reflecting even more than I normally do at this time.
This is the month each year that I re-write my vision, from a very quiet space, to make sure I am still following my true purpose and God’s will for my life. To do that, I take some time for myself to slow down and think.But slowing down to think is a double-edged sword. While it is amazing to pause and allow things to catch up with you (I tend to move fast and keep super busy), as someone who has had a lot of loss, it also causes sadness to creep in.I can’t help but wonder what it could have been like to have my husband Ross and my son Cole here to celebrate and enjoy Pryce and to be a part of his life. I picture my husband being the best grandpa and sharing his goofiness with his grandson. Laurel and I often see signs that this trait has been passed down to Pryce. My sweet grandson even looks like his grandpa!Both Ross and Cole would have loved seeing Laurel and Ethan as parents, too. And even though Cole told me on many occasions that he never wanted to have children, I believe he would have been completely enamored with Pryce. Like he was as a brother to Laurel, he would have found so many creative ways to play with his nephew.That picture of what could have been breaks my heart when I spend too much time thinking about it...so I choose not to.
When Laurel speaks on stages, she has an exercise she has people do on how to stay focused on the present. She has them draw a vertical line down the center of a piece of paper and write ‘what if’ for one column, and then ‘what is’ for the other. If you want to change the past and/or can’t stop thinking about it, this is an exercise that will help change your perspective so you can still envision the life you dream of.In the ‘what if’ column write all of the things that could have been if the circumstances had been different. List everything you can think of. In the ‘what is’ column put down the truth of how your life is now. The goal here is to let go of what can’t be changed, and even more importantly, to write that list of ‘what is’ in GRATITUDE for the blessings.This exercise is a daily practice for me, especially during times like these with family celebrations and missing loved ones.
I know you have had your own adversities that you are working through, too. So, remember to take the time to count your blessings and keep focused on the present and future you still have.God has a plan for all of it and we can find peace when we just keep looking up.Vision is victory,